During my pregnancy this year I was super aware of being sensitive about what I say to other people. Due to social media and the community that we as moms or expectant moms have built, we have been exposed to the struggles of miscarriage or barrenness.
Personally I have been taught to be empathetic, to watch what I say and especially never to ask someone when they intend to have kids.
But recently a friend put such a spin on this situation for me that it has sparked an entirely new thought. She shared her fear of having children. Not because of a personal bad experience or from her inability. Her fear stemmed from the moms around her complaining more than anything else about how hard motherhood is.
Now don’t get me wrong. I know how hard motherhood is believe me. I’ve seen so many different curve balls in the 7 years that I’ve been a mom. I’ve had to deal with postnatal depression, a baby that doesn’t sleep, separation anxiety, bullying, racism, emotional troubles and physical struggles. All that only with Jayme, I can’t imagine what lies ahead for me with Alex. But I wouldn’t change it or want to not be their mom because of it. I am proud to be their mom. Proud of myself for getting through the struggles, proud of them for trusting me and above everything so greatful for this journey that I take in every moment.
That is what made this friend share her fears. Seeing myself and other friends excited about the challenge of mother hood and ready to take the bull by the horns is helping her face her fear.
I would never have guessed that My friend feared having children because of all the negativity that she only hears about. Without even experiencing it for herself.
I understand that sometimes we moms just need to vent. We needs someone to listen to our complaints and let us know we aren’t alone. But the same way that we are cautious with who we ask why they don’t have kids, we should be cautious with who we spread the negatively to and we should share the good moments and not only highlight the bad ones.
You never know who you could be setting an example for or who might just need you to shine a little light on a dark situation.